I’m overwhelmed with time. It really feels like there isn’t enough time to pursue numerous things. And I can understand with that comes the learning of patience and prioritizing, and especially sacrifice. But can a girl dream and aspire forever?

Last night made me almost cry. It was the realization that I had to make my decision by the first week of September like I said I would. That decision involved whether or not I would return to dance. And well I’ve mainly already made my decision. I can’t for right now. And internally I do still want to come back. But being an adult requires being more financially stable and being more connected with my family, so those are my main two goals. So I’m putting dance on hold. It’s just so damn hard when they are my family too and this is where my release is, my happiness is, my balance. I just didn’t want fear or comfortability to keep me in one place. And I decided dance was not gonna be my career either. With that said, I can understand that with risks and sacrifice it can help bring me to a new place in life to grow. And honestly it’s time for me to stop being a kid. I want to make my parents proud. I want to be financially independent so that I can give back and also fend for myself. I also need to rebuild a relationship with my family before I get to thirty and don’t have any memories with my family all because I’ve neglected them. Which I have done way too much. I can be honest with myself that I gave so much time to other people and friends that I forgot about having my own personal time and time with family. I think I had the epiphany the other day that I’ve neglected my family because we didn’t feel like one anymore, that I made my friends my family instead. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a completely horrible thing, but if something is broken, why not try fixing it before you replace it?

With time comes balance, I can hope for. I know most things can be temporary. But my fear of being stressed with this new busy schedule is already aggravating me. I want to make everything work. I really do.

Even Derek had made a point a while ago. He said it’s you, you make time for whatever you want to make time for. And that stuck in my mind, because it’s true. I have the willpower to choose what to do. But right now, my mind is taking over for a second. I need to be responsible. My heart will get its turn in there somewhere.
I still want to be involved.
That’s my dance family. ♡ I don’t want to say a goodbye.

I wish I had time for everything. But because time is so limited, it made me appreciate what I have at the moment.
I’m still gonna try and make everything work. Watch me.

28

August

3 notes

wickedclothes:

Wicked Clothes presents our latest item: the 'Floral Rib Cage' Shirt!

Printed on American Apparel tri-blend shirts for an ultra-soft feel.

Just because you’re so wonderful, use coupon code ‘SHIPFREE’ to get free shipping on all domestic orders today! 

Hurry and order now!

25

August

4,423 notes

This photo was reblogged from wickedclothes and originally by wickedclothes.

I’ve learned more about myself this summer due to my trips, friends and family.

-Going to New York & Boston made me realize home is really where the heart is. I love the idea of traveling, but I could care less if I don’t have anyone to share it with. I wasn’t meant to travel alone and start my own new adventures…just yet. I aspire to share it with family, friend(s), or a significant other. I don’t see it as a bad thing. I’ve just made so many good connections. Why not keep it going?

-Even though, I’ve been single forever…I still realized I am just not mentally ready for it; to get back into being steady with anyone. Don’t get me wrong I’ve tried dating or getting to know someone. But something always holds me back. I’ve yet to figure out if I made excuses, or I just simply haven’t connected with anyone like that. Or maybe I still like him. Meh, either way I just haven’t been on the same page as anyone enough for me to want to pursue something serious. Besides, let me finish school in one more year. Then I’ll be ready to focus on something else besides school. Lol it doesn’t help that my relatives keep asking if I have a boyfriend yet. haha. I guess this is the age we start getting married and having babies. but oh lord, I am not to ready to be on that page right now. 

With family, I’ve noticed the relationship I have with them right now is not the best it could be. But I am trying to work on improving it. I need to change my habits of staying out too much to stay at home and better our connection. Friends are my family, but I can’t forget about my real family. I’m trying but sometimes I lose sight of what’s important. I try to remind myself though the real importance. 

I am just not ready for a lot of things and I guess I can admit that. Maybe this extra year of school will be what I need…to be able to enjoy youth, to enjoy the people I do have for the remainder of time I have in my college life. I know soon enough, my best friends will move away, they’ll get bigger jobs, they’ll move away. we all grow up. As of right now, I’m taking small steps, but they’re better than not taking any steps at all. I am definitely not grown up at all right now, but it’s all a process.

Right now, I have small goals and I can reach them. After I accomplish these, then I think I’ll be ready to set larger goals.

Just like Orange said, you can’t compare yourself to anyone else. everyone goes at their own pace, just gotta set your own personal standards.

What she said was a good reminder, and that’s exactly what I want to do to stay happy and productive.

Finish school and graduate, spend as much time as I can with my best friends before they move on with their lives, and improve my relationship with my family. 

I’m forever grateful for this life.

25

August

6 notes

Cam and Devin are my world.

I am so obsessed with this song. wanted to do choreo on it, then I saw hella other videos come out. ahah. I’ll try again

14

August

thecraziethewizard:

Collab w/ pvfotoby Jeremiah Probodanu

thecraziethewizard:

Collab w/ pvfoto
by Jeremiah Probodanu

14

August

1,163 notes

This photo was reblogged from lovestarrie and originally by thecraziethewizard.

observando:

Scandinavian Style

observando:

Scandinavian Style

14

August

962 notes

This photo was reblogged from observando and originally by mmmmminimalism.

calmaeu:

 

calmaeu:

 

(Source: winterfellis)

14

August

486,444 notes

This photo was reblogged from trustoneself and originally by winterfellis.

(Source: weheartit.com)

14

August

668 notes

This photo was reblogged from imellynhi and originally by alifespace.

(Source: autosafari)

14

August

40,583 notes

This photo was reblogged from imellynhi and originally by autosafari.

blushing—daisy:

Aaaand goodnight.

blushing—daisy:

Aaaand goodnight.

(Source: onlylolgifs)

14

August

720,170 notes

This photo was reblogged from blushing--daisy and originally by onlylolgifs.

radveganlife:

peace 

radveganlife:

peace 

14

August

394 notes

This photo was reblogged from radveganlife and originally by radveganlife.

(Source: quiettea)

14

August

23,291 notes

This photo was reblogged from buttercupsss and originally by quiettea.

14

August

5,467 notes

This photo was reblogged from cleanandsupreme and originally by hiphoplaboratory.

boss

boss

(Source: coastfield)

14

August

79,230 notes

This photo was reblogged from thefuuuucomics and originally by coastfield.